Saturday, March 8, 2014

Playing with Poetry

Slice of Life Challenge, Day 8

Every class begins with Writer's Notebook. Even before the bell rings, my students and I grab our notebooks, leave them open on our desks, anticipating writing moments. I spent some time looking through a handful of old notebook this morning. It turns out there are many, in all sizes and states. I ran across an idea scribbled in red, sideways on the page...when I grow up. So here is this morning's Slice of Life: an idea taken from my notebook.

When I Grow Up

Photo of Elk Lake from ERSchools
When I grow up
     (I told anyone who'd listen)
I want to be a mermaid
     or an astronaut
and swim the stars
     to be lifted,
carried away by the current
     to far off places.
I'd dip and dive
under water
     wishing I could hold my
          breath long enough to make it
               to mid-lake
     where feet couldn't touch bottom.
But I'd get two breaths out
     on tippy-toes
          nose poking above the wake
     and turn toward shore
          toward home
too scared to venture much
     further than my
          breath could
               carry me.            


Kevin Hodgson said...

... dip and dive
open-eyed ...
stay alive
when it matters most -
listen close
for sounds all around
And then, when you least expect it,
close your eyes
dip and dive
and dream.

PS -- stealing a line to make my own.

Jennifer Ward said...


Thank you for such a creative and thoughtful response! I love your new piece. I also caught your SOL post the other day, combining lines using Zeega. Not only was it poetry perfection, but the presentation was captivating. What a great tool to use with student writers as well. I'll be stealing this idea from you!

Anonymous said...

I LOVE how you set up your poem. The structure added so much to the overall meaning that I got out of it. I hadn't thought about doing something like this before--it's like making your blog your writers notebook. Your last line was by far my favorite (not that the rest wasn't beautiful as well). So many times I have been too scared to go beyond where my breath can take me. It definitely hit home.
Thanks for sharing!

Jaana said...

Love your blog's background! Now I will going to search my old journals for new inspirations! Thank you for giving me a spark!

Cathy said...

What a delightful flash back to when you were young. Oh, the things we wanted to be. I loved these lines:

"I want to be a mermaid
or an astronaut
and swim the stars
to be lifted,"

I'm also intrigued at the contrast between wishing to be a mermaid or astronaut - things that take one far away - to not wanting to leave the safe shores of home.


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